Aug 27, 2026 · 1h 43m
Why boys are losing motivation, purpose and connection
Why Boys are Falling Behind in America Today, and the Truth About ADHD and Plastics, with Dr. Leonard Sax | Ep. 1387
The episode links boys’ struggles across school, health, sexuality and relationships to institutions, technology, chemicals and weakened cultural guidance.
- 1School structures, digital entertainment and social media can deepen boys’ disengagement from learning and real-world goals.
- 2Sax challenges rising ADHD diagnosis and medication while pointing to depression, alienation, abuse and conflicts in child psychiatry.
- 3Pornography, AI relationships and online misogyny can distort intimacy, making parental boundaries and meaningful rites of passage more urgent.
Don't miss
Sax describes boys forming intense relationships with AI girlfriends, losing sleep and abandoning real-world activities for digital intimacy.
The brief
Megyn Kelly and physician Leonard Sax examine why boys and young men are falling behind in school, work, relationships and purpose, updating the argument of Sax’s book Boys Adrift.
Sax argues that schools built around stillness, accelerated academics and zero-tolerance discipline can alienate boys, while video games and social media pull motivation toward isolated digital rewards.
The conversation widens to ADHD diagnosis, stimulant medication and endocrine disruptors, with Sax urging parents to investigate underlying problems and reduce exposure to chemicals in plastics and personal-care products.
Its most unsettling turn concerns pornography, AI girlfriends and online misogyny: digital systems can teach distorted intimacy while replacing sleep, school activities and real-world relationships.
Sax’s prescription is less technological than cultural: parents must set boundaries, guide media use and give boys clearer role models, responsibilities and pathways into mature manhood.
What was said on this episode
50 statements · 11 positive · 33 negative · 1 mixed · 5 neutral
American boys are falling behind educationally.
“We know that boys are falling behind.”
Listen at 5:27
Girls outperform boys in every K–12 subject, including math and science.
“Girls are now doing better than boys. in every subject, including math and science, in every grade level, K through 12.”
Listen at 5:52
U.S. four-year college enrollment is roughly 60% girls and 40% boys.
“Four-year colleges in the United States are now roughly 60-40, girls to boys.”
Listen at 6:04
Women under 35 without children at home out-earn comparable men by about 20%.
“women under 35 with no children at home are now out-earning men under 35 with no children at home by about 20%.”
Listen at 6:13
There are insufficient accomplished, motivated men for women seeking partners.
“there are not enough good men to go around.”
Listen at 8:23
Many formerly available factory jobs have disappeared.
“Today, many of those factory jobs are gone.”
Listen at 14:27
Schools increasingly discipline boys for traditional male behavior.
“Boys doing things that boys have always done now gets you in trouble.”
Listen at 17:01
American schools have become less accommodating to boys.
“School has become unfriendly to boys.”
Listen at 19:11
Hour-long, sedentary kindergarten instruction is developmentally inappropriate for five-year-old boys.
“It is not developmentally appropriate to ask a five-year-old boy to sit still, be quiet, and learn about diphthongs for an hour.”
Listen at 19:47
Parents should enroll boys in kindergarten at age six rather than five.
“Enroll him at six.”
Listen at 20:13
Girls’ greater concern with pleasing adults is biologically hardwired.
“It is hardwired.”
Listen at 26:43
One school suspension increases a boy’s later felony-incarceration risk by 800%.
“the risk of him being incarcerated for a felony in prison increases by 800%.”
Listen at 28:16
A single suspension can permanently change a boy’s attitude toward school.
“One suspension is all it takes to change a boy's attitude.”
Listen at 28:46
Parents should prioritize their child above work and housing.
“Your kid has to be your first priority. Above your work, above your home.”
Listen at 29:34
Video games contribute substantially to boys’ disengagement and underachievement.
“actually it is the video games.”
Listen at 33:42
Boys’ gaming time has increased while their interaction with girls has decreased.
“Time spent playing video games has gone up. Time spent interacting with girls has gone down.”
Listen at 36:16
Boys should game no more than 40 minutes on school nights and one hour on weekends.
“No more than 40 minutes a night on school nights, no more than an hour a day on weekends”
Listen at 37:05
Violent video games cause boys to become less patient, honest, and more selfish.
“boys playing violent games like Grand Theft Auto change over three years' time. They become less patient, less honest, more selfish.”
Listen at 38:04
U.S. law cannot limit video-game sales based on content or child age.
“there can be no law or regulation limiting the sale of any video game in the United States”
Listen at 40:18
Sleep deprivation can mimic inattentive ADHD.
“Sleep deprivation perfectly mimics attention deficit disorder of the inattentive variety”
Listen at 43:06
Sleep deprivation should be treated with sleep rather than prescribed amphetamines.
“the appropriate remedy for sleep deprivation is sleep, not scheduled to amphetamines.”
Listen at 43:20
Children should not use social media before age 18.
“Kids should not be on social media at all until 18 years of age.”
Listen at 44:23
ADHD medications help children without ADHD as much as those with ADHD.
“these medications help normal kids. As much as they help kids with ADHD”
Listen at 48:33
Long-term stimulant use damages the brain’s motivational center.
“these medications, Adderall, Vivance, Ritalin, Concerta, Meditate, Fockeland, Adrana, damage the motivational center of the brain”
Listen at 48:58
ADHD medication is overprescribed in the United States.
“I think we've got real good evidence that it's overprescribed.”
Listen at 52:26
ADHD is only one of several explanations for children’s inattention.
“ADHD is one of many possibilities.”
Listen at 1:00:33
Patients diagnosed with ADHD can choose safer non-stimulant medications.
“you can choose a safer medication.”
Listen at 1:01:53
Male Potomac River fish are producing eggs instead of sperm.
“the male fish in the Potomac River are making eggs instead of sperm.”
Listen at 1:02:50
Male sperm counts and testosterone levels are declining globally.
“This is a... a global phenomenon of male sperm counts dropping, male testosterone levels dropping.”
Listen at 1:03:29
Average young American men’s testosterone fell 20% over roughly 20 years.
“It's now dropped to 450. That's a 20% drop in like 20 years.”
Listen at 1:04:00
Lower testosterone levels reduce men’s motivation.
“When you lower testosterone levels, motivation drops.”
Listen at 1:05:03
Heating PET plastic above 110°F causes DEHP to leach into bottled contents.
“Once the temperature gets above 110 degrees, diethylhexyl phthalate will leach from the plastic into the contents of the bottle.”
Listen at 1:06:37
DEHP acts like estrogen in the human body.
“DEHP, diethylhexyl phthalate, acts in your body like a female hormone, acts like estrogen.”
Listen at 1:06:47
Over half of American girls begin puberty before age ten.
“More than 50%, more than half of American girls now begin the process of puberty before reaching their 10th. birthday.”
Listen at 1:07:24
Testosterone shots can cause male infertility.
“these lead to infertility.”
Listen at 1:09:27
Men should eliminate exposure to endocrine disruptors to address low testosterone.
“Eliminate exposure to endocrine disruptors.”
Listen at 1:10:23
Eliminating endocrine disruptors can normalize bodily measures within six weeks.
“everything came back to normal in six weeks.”
Listen at 1:12:20
A toxic culture is the major factor behind rising transgender identification.
“I think the major factor is a toxic culture that is sending very confused messages to kids about what it means to be a man, what it means to be a woman.”
Listen at 1:13:14
Parents should restrict harmful media and connect children with positive influences.
“You need to block the bad stuff and connect your kids to the good stuff.”
Listen at 1:21:57
Violence appears in 60% of the most popular pornography videos.
“Today, researchers find that 60% of the most popular porn videos are violent”
Listen at 1:25:38
42% of American boys use AI apps to create pornography.
“42% of American boys are using apps like Nano Banana and Seedream to create their own porn.”
Listen at 1:26:58
32% of surveyed boys used schoolgirls’ images for nonconsensual AI pornography.
“32% of boys in the survey admitted to taking other girls' pictures from their social media at their school. and using those pictures to create porn and sharing it without the girl's consent”
Listen at 1:27:40
Adolescent pornography use can contribute to erectile dysfunction by age 20.
“boys who've been masturbating over porn at 13, 14, 15 years of age, now they're 20, and they're in a bedroom with an actual woman who doesn't look like a porn star, and nothing happens.”
Listen at 1:28:50
Men under 30 now have higher impotence rates than men aged 40–50.
“Men under 30 are now more likely to be impotent. than men between 40 and 50 years of age.”
Listen at 1:29:28
Parents should install monitoring software on every child’s device.
“You must install a... parental monitoring app like Canopy, Bark, Custodio, or NetNanny on every device that your kid has.”
Listen at 1:30:26
Women generally do not want to be choked during sex.
“women don't like to be choked.”
Listen at 1:32:30
No one under 18 should use AI girlfriends.
“No child, no boy, no girl under 18 should be doing this.”
Listen at 1:36:19
Nick Fuentes is the most influential incel figure.
“Nick Fuentes is the most influential of the incels.”
Listen at 1:37:14
Nick Fuentes attracts over one million viewers nightly.
“He has more than a million viewers a night, which is more than Anderson Cooper has on CNN.”
Listen at 1:37:43
Porn, AI girlfriends, and the manosphere increase young men’s isolation from women.
“the end result of those three together is a growing proportion of young men who are perfectly happy in their bedroom with their AI girlfriends and their porn”
Listen at 1:40:32
Statements are attributed to the speaker as said on the episode and reflect their view at the time, not PodLume's. They are not advice.
Books & mentions
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Boys Adrift
The book develops Sax’s argument about declining motivation and achievement among boys and young men.
Why Gender Matters
Sax’s work on sex differences in development, education and behavior extends the episode’s discussion of boys and schools.
The Collapse of Parenting
It explores the parenting practices Sax associates with declining self-control, resilience and well-being.