Nov 8, 2026 · 9 min
Parents debate when financial help becomes harmful
"How Do We Get Our 25-Year-Old To Grow Up?"
The episode examines how prolonged support can delay an adult child’s independence while family history makes setting limits emotionally difficult.
- 1Rescuing an adult from ordinary responsibilities can weaken confidence and reinforce dependence.
- 2A written transition timeline offers structure without forcing an abrupt loss of housing or support.
- 3Manageable hardship can build coping skills, perseverance, character, and hope.
Don't miss
Rachel recommends setting a written deadline for the son to move into his own apartment instead of abruptly forcing him out.
The brief
A retired caller says his 25-year-old son has only recently started working after years without a job, while he and his wife disagree about continuing to pay his expenses.
Jade Warshaw argues that the mother’s difficult childhood may be shaping how she protects her son, but rescuing him can communicate that he cannot succeed independently.
The hosts warn that repeatedly solving a child’s frustrations can produce entitlement and poor tolerance for ordinary setbacks, affecting emotional development and future relationships.
Rather than forcing an abrupt move, Rachel recommends a written deadline for the son to get his own apartment, giving the family a clear path toward independence.
The episode’s central argument is that manageable hardship is not abandonment: responsibility, struggle, and consequences can develop coping skills, perseverance, character, and hope.
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