Sep 2, 2026 · 10 min
Parents weigh boundaries against a $20 million inheritance
Disinherit Our Trust Fund Baby?
The episode examines how parents can stop enabling an adult child while preserving an inheritance without undermining recovery or responsibility.
- 1Rachel recommends ending ongoing financial support and requiring the adult son to sustain employment.
- 2A discretionary or structured trust could tie access to sobriety, work, education, and responsible financial behavior.
- 3Estate-planning counsel can help protect the inheritance from a potentially damaging marriage or immediate access.
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Rachel’s central recommendation is to end ongoing support while placing the approximately $20 million inheritance in a structured or discretionary trust.
The brief
A retired couple has supported their adult son through addiction recovery, unemployment, education, and housing, and now asks whether continued help is doing more harm than good.
Rachel argues that ongoing support should end, with firm expectations around finding and keeping a job rather than allowing the family’s resources to substitute for responsibility.
The larger question is an approximately $20 million estate: Rachel favors a structured or discretionary trust instead of handing over the inheritance immediately or disinheriting him outright.
The proposed trust could condition distributions on sobriety, employment, education, and demonstrated financial responsibility, preserving support while protecting the son’s progress.
When the caller worries that a future marriage could put the inheritance at risk, Rachel recommends waiting, delaying or conditioning distributions, and consulting an estate-planning attorney.
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