What podcasts say about Jefferson Fisher
Every statement, with the speaker, the exact quote and the moment it was said.
What Jefferson Fisher has said on podcasts
38 statements · 18 positive · 13 negative · 4 mixed · 3 neutral
Poorly modeled communication leaves people without effective conflict skills.
“communication modeled well in their life”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 0:27
Calmly navigating conflict requires more courage than yelling or aggression.
“It takes a whole lot more strength to be able to take a breath, slow things down, say things more calmly.”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 2:05
Facts and evidence alone typically do not change people’s minds.
“facts and evidence typically don't matter when it comes to changing somebody's mind”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 2:38
The body responds similarly to social and physical danger.
“our bodies don't do well at deciphering between a social danger”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 3:02
Leading with unexplained context expands anxiety and speculation.
“when you usually start with context first or a lot of unknown first”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 4:33
Labeling a difficult conversation prepares people for emotional resilience.
“when you're able to say, this is going to be a hard conversation”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 7:30
Holding a pillow or similar object can help regulate intense emotional states.
“This is very regulating because it's allowing you to have a lot of tension and then a lot of release.”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 10:41
Unresolved relationship ruptures eventually accumulate into larger conflicts.
“if we're not okay, then nothing's okay”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 15:27
Naming an unexplained emotional reaction invites a partner into the issue.
“I can tell something else is coming up for me. I'm not sure yet.”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 16:40
Self-improvement without improving relationships becomes self-focused rather than relational.
“self improvement is just self worship”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 17:27
Slowing conversations reduces escalation during conflict.
“You have to be able to slow it down.”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 18:04
Writing down conversation goals improves subsequent discussions.
“your conversation is going to go better than if you just kept it all in your head”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 24:20
Anger often conceals fear, sadness, or grief.
“anger is hiding fear, it's hiding sadness, it's hiding grief”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 25:42
Anger rarely causes people to change their behavior.
“Rarely, if ever does getting angry at somebody lead to the changing their behavior.”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 28:47
Responding to aggression with aggression escalates conflict without resolving it.
“Aggression with matching aggression doesn't really go anywhere.”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 33:07
Effective boundaries require accepting and enforcing their consequences.
“you have to focus on the consequences and be okay with it”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 33:28
Passive-aggressive behavior is often learned during childhood.
“it's usually something that was taught in childhood”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 37:01
Kindness involves telling people difficult truths rather than merely preserving pleasantness.
“Kindness says, I care enough about you to tell you the truth because I care about you.”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 42:57
Bad news should not be preceded by blaming the recipient.
“what you can't do is twist the knife where you start to blame them first”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 43:19
Softening breakup messages with evasive explanations worsens their long-term impact.
“that long term impact is gonna be a whole lot worse because you weren't really being honest with me”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 45:21
Being a good leader requires sometimes telling people what they need, not want, to hear.
“you have to learn the art of disappointing people”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 51:05
Empathy is valuable, but absorbing others’ feelings is unnecessary.
“having empathy and being able to feel other people's emotions, that is a superpower”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 53:07
Words can either harm or help people emotionally.
“My words can either hurt you or heal you.”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 1:00:51
Communication often fails because intended messages differ from what recipients understand.
“what is sent is what is received”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 1:06:50
Silence for five to seven seconds can defuse or expose an insult.
“I'm going to give it about five to seven seconds of nothing”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 1:13:57
Asking someone to repeat an insult highlights and discourages their behavior.
“I need you to say that again.”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 1:14:50
People should address insults disguised as jokes rather than ignore them.
“I don't let it, I don't like it to slide.”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 1:27:19
Excessive hedging makes speakers sound weak and less assertive.
“hedging that makes them sound really, really weak in the conversation”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 1:29:39
Using more assertive language can increase perceived confidence.
“confidence is as assertive does”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 1:31:29
Calm, warm, lower-register, slower speech makes someone sound composed.
“A calm voice. That's a voice that sounds warm voice that sounds in a lower register. Words that are spaced out more.”
Open the episode · How To Have The Hardest Conversations of Your Life - Jefferson Fisher - #1093Listen at 1:36:13
Statements are attributed to the speaker as said on the episode and reflect their view at the time, not PodLume's. They are not advice.