What podcasts say about Sonja Lyubomirsky

Every statement, with the speaker, the exact quote and the moment it was said.

What Sonja Lyubomirsky has said on podcasts

27 statements · 15 positive · 9 negative · 2 mixed · 1 neutral

on Happiness interventionsPositiveJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
Effective happiness interventions increase feelings of connection and being loved.
“The reason they worked is because they made us feel more connected to and loved by others.”
Listen at 0:42
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Self-improvement for feeling lovedNegativeJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
Becoming richer, famous, or more beautiful does not make people feel more loved.
“I need to make myself more lovable. Like, I need to sort of somehow broadcast how wonderful I am, or maybe I need to get richer or more famous or more beautiful so people would love me more. That's the part that's a myth. And it does not actually get you to feel more loved.”
Listen at 3:14
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Feeling lovedPositiveJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
Feeling known is central to feeling loved.
“I believe that really the key to feeling loved is being known.”
Listen at 4:54
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Feeling loved surveyNegativeJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
A survey found 70% lacked as much love as desired in a significant relationship.
“70% said they don't feel as loved as they want to be.”
Listen at 6:18
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Anxious and avoidant attachmentNegativeJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
Anxious or avoidant attachment can hinder accepting love.
“If you're anxiously attached or avoidantly attached, I think that's a huge barrier somehow.”
Listen at 6:46
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Love language matchingNegativeJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
Matching partners’ love languages does not predict relationship quality or stability.
“matching in your love language predicts how good or how strong or how stable your relationship is. It does not predict it.”
Listen at 7:47
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Love language expressionPositiveJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
Partners expressing love through more languages is associated with better relationships.
“the more love languages your partner shows love to you, the better.”
Listen at 8:00
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Low self-esteemNegativeJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
Low self-esteem reduces belief in other people’s expressions of love.
“if you really don't love yourself, if you low self esteem, you're not gonna believe other people's expressions of love.”
Listen at 9:15
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Self-esteem interventionsNegativeJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
Lyubomirsky knows no strong interventions that increase self-esteem.
“I don't know of any good interventions to increase people's self esteem.”
Listen at 9:57
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Gender differences in relationship happinessMixedJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
Men derive more happiness from romantic relationships than women do.
“men derive more happiness from romantic relationships than women.”
Listen at 14:19
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Romantic partner expectationsNegativeJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
Partners generally cannot fulfill every sexual, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual need.
“We also have the false belief that our partner needs to fulfill all of our needs.”
Listen at 16:05
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Interpersonal vulnerabilityPositiveJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
Vulnerability usually makes others like us more, contrary to common expectations.
“we think being vulnerable will lead other people to like us less. On average, people like us more.”
Listen at 24:47
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Emotion validationPositiveJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
People should validate emotions before offering advice or encouragement.
“Ideally, you want to kind of validate. Like, I. I understand you feel scared right now or something like that. And then go and talk about and give the speech that he gave”
Listen at 29:58
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Listening attentionNegativeJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
One study found listeners’ minds wandered 25% of the time.
“One study showed 25% of the time when we're listening, our mind is wandering.”
Listen at 30:27
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Nonviolent CommunicationPositiveJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
Lyubomirsky recommends nonviolent communication as effective.
“I'm a big believer in nonviolent communication.”
Listen at 34:31
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Gradual vulnerabilityPositiveJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
People should approach vulnerability gradually by first revealing something smaller.
“before they. They take that leap, I would go slow. Right. So maybe the first time, just you. Yeah. Reveal something smaller and then take a. Yeah. Take a baby steps.”
Listen at 36:46
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Relationship responses to good newsPositiveJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
Responses to good news predict relationship duration better than responses to bad news.
“how we respond to good news is a better predictor of relationship duration than how we respond to bad news.”
Listen at 46:01
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Unreciprocated relationshipsNegativeJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
People may need to leave relationships lacking reciprocal connection.
“maybe you need to walk away. Maybe you've made a poor choice.”
Listen at 49:29
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Cross-partisan curiosity and listeningPositiveJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
Curious listening across political divides reduces prejudice and differences.
“When you're curious and really listening to people who are on the other side of the political spectrum, it actually research has shown it reduces prejudice, it reduces differences.”
Listen at 55:44
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Managerial curiosity and listeningPositiveJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
Leaders’ curiosity and listening increase productivity and engagement while reducing quitting.
“if you're a leader or a manager or a supervisor, and if you're curious in really listening to your employees or your followers, they're going to be more productive, they're going to be more engaged, they're going to be less likely to quit.”
Listen at 56:07
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on 15-minute conversationPositiveJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
A 15-minute conversation can increase happiness the next day.
“If you want to be happier Tomorrow, have a 15 minute conversation with someone.”
Listen at 57:16
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Acting more extrovertedPositiveJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
Acting more extroverted for one week substantially increased happiness.
“In the week that people acted more extroverted, they were so much happier”
Listen at 59:18
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Acting more extrovertedNeutralJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
The happiness benefit of acting extroverted was similar for introverts and extroverts.
“this effect was the same for introverts and extroverts.”
Listen at 59:32
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Introversion and social behaviorPositiveJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
Studies generally find socially acting introverts do not feel depleted or exhausted.
“The studies. I think there's only with one exception, studies are showing that introverts that are asked to act more social do not feel depleted or exhausted.”
Listen at 1:01:50
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Life circumstances and happinessMixedJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
Changing comfortable life circumstances produces only temporary happiness gains.
“if you're kind of normal, comfortable Circumstances, then changing them is going to make you happy temporarily.”
Listen at 1:06:24
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Gratitude and hedonic adaptationPositiveJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
Gratitude counteracts hedonic adaptation.
“gratitude is the antidote to hedonic adaptation.”
Listen at 1:07:28
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115
on Relationships and social skillsPositiveJun 25, 2026· Modern Wisdom
Young adults should prioritize relationships and social skills for future happiness.
“really put effort into maintaining relationships, learn social skills.”
Listen at 1:09:17
Open the episode · Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115

Statements are attributed to the speaker as said on the episode and reflect their view at the time, not PodLume's. They are not advice.