Oct 24, 2026 · 1h 38m
Listening turns influence into connection
How to Make Anyone Instantly Like You (Without Saying a Word) | Ed Mylett
The episode argues that persuasion, leadership, negotiation, and intimacy depend less on performance than on making people feel understood.
- 1Emotional listening works by acknowledging another person’s feelings before trying to solve their problem.
- 2Charisma grows from presence, confidence, and deep attention rather than polished performance or forceful delivery.
- 3Mirroring, labeling, and concise communication help create trust across negotiations, leadership, and close relationships.
Don't miss
Chris Voss demonstrates how repeating a few of someone’s words and labeling their perspective can turn tension into connection.
The brief
Ed Mylett opens by treating time as something that can be compressed, then shifts to a more consequential form of leverage: listening well enough to change how people respond.
Charles Duhigg explains emotional listening and looping for understanding: ask a deep question, paraphrase what you heard, and check whether your interpretation is right.
Eric Thomas and Zoe Chance broaden the case, arguing that effective communication starts with the audience and that liking and emotional reaction often precede rational analysis.
Zoe Chance reframes charisma as connection, presence, confidence, and attention, while warning that insecurity often makes people overexplain or apologize for speaking.
Chris Voss supplies the most practical tool: repeat the last one to three words, then label the other person’s perspective to encourage disclosure and de-escalate conflict.
The episode carries these techniques into marriage and personal growth, where accountability, congruence, and giving love matter more than keeping score.
Books & mentions
Some links are affiliate links — PodLume may earn a commission if you buy.
Weekly email
State of the Pod, every Monday
The week's most-discussed names and stories from podcasts, with the moments behind them. Free, five minutes, unsubscribe in one click.